Una mudanza ¿exitosa?, vol. 3 y epílogo

23

Mirar mi agenda da gusto. Lo digo porque es verdad: ir pasando las páginas y leyendo mis citas ineludibles, captar la urgencia de las tareas según el color y el número de exclamaciones que las acompañan, estudiar el impecable discurrir de mis rutinas de estudio o de trabajo, contemplar las caritas sonrientes que aparecen en las tardes de viernes, o las tristes en las mañanas de lunes, es algo que me hace sentir una satisfacción especial. Y es que con el paso de los años, dada mi innata inutilidad para organizar mi vida, mi casa, mi alimentación e incluso mis sentimientos, me he visto obligada a desarrollar una capacidad casi obsesiva de organizar mi tiempo y mi trabajo al milímetro.

Pero no es oro todo lo que reluce y, como comentaba en uno de los posts de SSLM, Mi pobre agenda, no siempre obedezco las órdenes que me doy a mí misma a través de este dispositivo, tradicional donde los haya.

Y con la mudanza sucedió lo mismo.

“Pero mujer, ¡dónde ha quedado la mudanza! ¡Si desde principios de febrero lleváis viviendo en la casa nueva!”, diréis mis más fieles lector@s. Y sí, es cierto, después de explotar de mala manera a los amigos de mi novio para que nos hicieran de mudanceros desinteresadamente y nos ayudaran con “lo gordo”, desde febrero estamos aquí felices de la vida, contentísimos con nuestras ventanas que dan a la piscina de la urbanización, nuestro segundo piso Pipeke-free (la peque no lo pisa) dedicado a sala de música (juass) y estudio, nuestros vecinos normales (alabados sean), nuestro horno que no carboniza los bizcochos que hago con el sudor de mi frente (en sentido figurado) y nuestro montón de espacio para jugar… pero lo cierto es que aunque “lo gordo” ya está, aún arrastro a día de hoy cientos de miles de “quehaceres” que la mudanza me obligó a retrasar y que siguen ahí, saltando de las tareas pendientes del día 1, a las del día 2, de ahí a las del 3, y así continuamente, cual piojos en cabelleras infantiles de una guardería.

caja que queda por deshacerY no, no me refiero únicamente a esta solitaria caja de cartón olvidada que, junto a su bolsa satélite, aguarda pacientemente que Guille o yo la desembalemos y repartamos su contenido entre cajones y armarios… que también, sino más bien a otras cosas. En concreto, a dos: las claves para culminar con éxito un proceso mudancero son la superación, por una parte, del efecto Herencia Recibida y del Efecto Maletero.

1. El Efecto Herencia Recibida

Este fenómeno se produce cuando un ser humano achaca todos sus problemas a una misma causa, pase lo que pase, con o sin razón. Sucede, por ejemplo, cuando alguien se cambia de domicilio y de pronto, sin saber muy bien por qué, todos sus males, problemas, imprevistos o contratiempos son achacables directamente a la mudanza. “No puedo quedar esta semana, es que estoy de mudanza”; “señor profe: le adjunto el ejercicio y le pido disculpas por el retraso, es que estuve de mudanza”; “mamá, este finde no voy, es que justo ayer terminamos la mudanza”; “empleador precario X, no puedo trabajar mañana, es que tengo lío porque he estado de mudanza”; “he perdido las llaves… claro, en la mudanza”; “me duele la cabeza… es por la mudanza…”; “no nos casamos tampoco este año, que con la mudanza tuvimos bastante”, “estoy agotada de la mudanza, así que me voy a dar de baja en el gimnasio”; “se ha muerto Manolo Escobar… ha sido por la mudanza”… y así hasta el infinito, obedeciendo al efecto Herencia Recibida, todas las vicisitudes que se presenten en la vida de uno y sin importar si la relación causa-efecto es lógica o no, son achacables a la mudanza.

Y, desde aquí, confieso: estas semanas he puesto la mudanza como excusa muchas, muchas, muchas veces, cuando lo que en realidad debería haber dicho era: “perdón, soy un auténtico desastre, me dejé un más que representativo puñado de neuronas entre el parto y los primeros meses de crianza en los cuales combiné estudio de oposición fracasada y máster y posgrado y grado y no sé cuántas cosas más, y me he olvidado de hacer, decir, entregar o terminar tal o cual cosa. Y aun así, doy gracias a los dioses por no haberme olvidado algo peor”. Eso debería haber dicho algunas veces.

Algunas… Pero, otras, tenía razón y la mudanza era efectivamente el desencadenante real del problema. Y es entonces cuando nos encontramos con el segundo efecto que hay que superar.

2. El Efecto Maletero

Una toalla de la playa de la pantera rosa, una botella de Bacardí a la que le queda un culo, la carpeta del cursillo que hice en la UDC hace tres meses, un montón de CD viejos, aquella utilísima riñonera que me regaló la amabilísima azafata de Barceló, el chaleco reflectante, un bombín de bicicleta, pañales de todas las tallas, una jirafa de plástico, tres libros y un paquete sin abrir de sobres acolchados. Eso es, a grandes rasgos, el material que he ido acumulando en mi maletero a lo largo de los últimos meses y que, lo sé, en algún momento tendré que re-distribuir entre la basura, mi casa, la casa de mis padres, o algún otro lugar. El Efecto Maletero es exactamente eso: el fenómeno que sucede cuando no sabes qué c*ño hacer con determinados trastos y/o tareas pendientes y, bueno, venga, los dejas ahí,en el maletero, y ya pensarás más tarde dónde los pones, en el caso de los trastos, o cuándo las realizas, en el caso de las tareas pendientes.

Epílogo

Así que aquí me tenéis, soportando estoicamente el peso de la losa de mi batiburrillo de tareas pendientes: terminando avanzando en empezando un proyecto final que debería haber terminado hace semanas, buscando minutos para recuperar clases online perdidas y/o suspensas (una, que no da para todo) diseñando mi “plan de acción” para, por fin, cometer ese acto de irresponsabilidad que supone el darse de alta como autónomo en un país como este, algo que pensaba hacer en enero, luego febrero, luego marzo y parece que será en abril, a la vez que tacho de “ayer” y reescribo en “hoy” en mi agenda, por cuarta vez este mes, que tengo que comprar un perchero y devolver las sábanas que compré el otro día, bueno, la semana pasada… digo, el mes pasado, porque no me dan la medida. Y cuando paso por cerca de la caja olvidada y de su bolsa-satélite, trinco lo primero que sobresalga de la misma y le busco al objeto que sea un lugar para vivir. Lo llevo a su sitio, vamos.

Así, a lo mejor, dentro de unos cuantos años la caja está vacía. A lo mejor entonces puedo decir que, finalmente, he superado la mudanza con éxito, que era en definitiva el objetivo de este dudoso manual. Y, llegados a este punto, me doy cuenta de que quizás debería dejarle esto de escribir manuales a la Mamá Opositora… que aunque ahora mismo está en un descansito bloguero, tiene para ello mucha más habilidad que yo.

 

 

23 Comentarios

  1. Anónimo

    Dios, cómo te comprendo! Me voy ahora mismo a deshacerme de la última caja olvidada (Aunque creo que va a ir directamente a la basura!!!)
    Besoo!

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  2. Paula

    jajajajaja por favor no abandones el manual porque es buenísimo!! y creo que tu maletero y el mío se harían íntimos…jaja ánimo Blan que en unos días, digo meses, digo años..estás libre de cajas de cartón! jeje mmmua!

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  3. Noemí

    Si te sirve de consuelo, yo me mudé hace MESES y aún no he encontrado un sitio para cada cosa. Cada día se me ocurre algo diferente… pruebo, no me convence, vuelve a las cajas satélites, bolsas mixes de todo… Me consuelo pensando literariamente que “una casa se llena en un par de días, pero un hogar se hace con el tiempo”. Jajajajajaja.

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  4. María

    Ánimo Blanca!! seguro que lo importante ya lo tienes ubicado así que las cajas que te quedan dispersas con sus satélites ya se irán colocando..Y para el maletero si quieres te mando a mi Manfriend que de vez en cuando me hace revisión del coche-trastero que llevo y me lo deja…..eso sí, si tienes mucho apego a algo sácalo antes que este tío no tiene corazón nostálgico!

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