Las salas de lactancia y el civismo (que escasea)

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Yo soy esa que el año pasado juraba y perjuraba que no pisaría ningún centro comercial de A Coruña. Cómo me agobian esos sitios, los centros comerciales, que pueblan nuestros polígonos industriales despoblando nuestros barrios de los pequeños negocios que aún quedaban en ellos. Soy la misma que se deprime y lagrimea cada vez que detecta la presencia a menos de 50 metros de una tienda de ropa de la superempresa textil por excelencia, esa que vende prendas hechas con los mismos patrones de los últimos 100 años de las tallas 32 a la 36 como churros gracias al maldito aborregamiento del ser humano (también el mío, sí). Soy esa que en las rebajas del pasado mes de febrero twitteaba que, aunque había terminado pisando esa meca del consumismo embarazada de 7 meses, jamás iría allí con la neni. Arrastrar un carrito planta arriba-planta abajo de un centro comercial… ¡ni de coña!

Pues ya lo decía el palomo aquel que vivía en la Estatua de la Libertad en Fievel y el Nuevo Mundo (una de las pelis imprescindibles de Don Bluth): nunca digas nunca. Ahora, las mecas del consumismo son prácticamente mi hábitat natural… Siguen sin apasionarme, de hecho me provocan ansiedad, pero tienen suelos llanos para conducir el carro, ascensores cada 10 metros, tiendas de juguetes llenas de colorines por las que pasear, un techo que nos protege de la lluvia y el viento y, lo que es más importante, lo imprescindible: salas de lactancia. Muchas salas de lactancia.

Las salas de lactancia son como los extintores: solo te das cuenta de que están ahí cuando estás desesperada buscando una. Eso sí… no todas cumplen las condiciones indispensables:

– Silloncito blando con brazos, también blandos. Parece fácil, sí… pues los arquitectos, decoradores o quien sea que diseñe esos lugares no siempre se dan cuenta. Yo me encuentro muchas veces sillones bajísimos e hiperincómodos, con brazos que no valen para apoyar los codos porque quedan lejos del cuerpo de una servidora. De lo que quedan cerca es de la cabecita del bebé que mama, así que la servidora debe hacer malabares para que no se golpee con ellos. Podríamos pensar que el diseñador es antilactancia (si es que se puede ser algo así), o que por ignorancia, piensa que todos los bebés toman biberón, pero tampoco, porque el siguiente obstáculo puede ser el microondas…

Microondas. He sido testigo de cómo 3 madres diferentes trataban de calentar la comida de sus bebés en el microondas de una sala de lactancia sin ser capaces de averiguar cómo se encendía. ¡Pero si todos los microondas son facilísimos de usar! Sí, señor, todos menos los de las salas de lactancia de algunos centros comerciales. Por suerte, muchas salas tienen microondas normales y corrientes. Eso sí, el churretón de potito que alguna madre guarra deja para que limpiemos las demás jamás falta.

Cambiador: Que el cambiador esté colocado de manera que hay que retorcerse para utilizarlo, es aceptable: pasa en muchas salas de lactancia. Lo importante es que esté bien sujeto… los hay que dan poca confianza porque bailotean de arriba abajo y parece que en cualquier momento caerá al suelo cambiador, niño, toallitas, pastel y todo cuanto allí esté depositado. Esto tiene su parte positiva, porque hace que te veas obligada a colocar una pierna debajo y mediosujetarlo todo con tu temblorosa rodilla, por si le da al armatoste por caerse en plena pañalada. Acabas haciendo más ejercicio al cambiar un pañal que en un mes de gimnasio.

Luz: hay muchas cosas en este mundo que damos por hechas hasta que nos faltan. Una, las salas de lactancia… otra, la luz de las salas de lactancia. Una de las situaciones más acongojantes de mi vida fue en la sala de lactancia de la meca del consumismo coruñés llamada Marineda City, cuando la neni tenía no muchos meses y por lo tanto yo no tenía tanta habilidad como ahora a la hora de sujetarla a ella con una mano mientras con la otra tiendo/hago la comida/pongo una lavadora/abro la puerta a un perseverante comercial/etc., ese día, con la teta fuera y la neni comiendo plácidamente mientras yo hacía malabarismos para que no se abriera la cabeza con uno de los brazos de madera del sillón incomodísimo, la luz va y se apaga sola. Sola. Yo, sorprendida, empecé a saludar con un brazo como una loca, ya que esperaba que al detectar movimiento se hiciera la luz de nuevo… pero no fue así. Únicamente hice el ridículo bailoteando con la teta fuera, la niña en brazos y tratando de levantarme a oscuras de aquel sofá infernal (demasiado bajo como para que una recién parida con una cesárea de 12 centímetros de lado a lado de la panza pueda levantarse cargando con un bebé sin un esfuerzo sobrehumano) para localizar el bendito interruptor.

Desde aquí quiero enviar un saludo cordial al inventor de las salas de lactancia de Ikea. Mesa de cambiador acolchado (y no duro como un pedrusco, que haberlos haylos, cosa que jamás entenderé), sillón razonablemente cómodo, decoración agradable… hasta juegos tienen en la sala, para esos niños que están ya en edad de enredar. Una bendición… nórdica, como todas las bendiciones referidas a la maternidad.

Otra de las cosas que aprecias cuando aparece, y no muchas veces lo hace, es el civismo. Siento alargar este post mas de lo blogueramente aceptable, pero tengo que hablar del civismo. Las personas somos, por definición, maleducadas, incívicas, guarras, egoístas y paletonas. Si no, no puedo explicarme que un sábado de esos en los que un centro comercial, por ese maldito aborregamiento del ser humano, rezuma gente hasta por los conductos de ventilación, personas sin ninguna lesión visible, ni carrito, ni sillas de ruedas plaguen los ascensores, haciéndonos a las personas con carritos, sillas de ruedas o muletas hacer cola detrás de ellos para subir o bajar. Mi novio siempre me dice que me relaje, oiga, que las personas normales, físicamente capaces, son libres de usar los ascensores si quieren, o mejor dicho, si no quieren caminar los cuatro metros que los separan de las escaleras mecánicas, pero yo tengo el firme convencimiento de que cualquier cabeza pensante es capaz de llegar a la conclusión de que los ascensores son de uso prioritario para quien no puede usar otro tipo de medio de transporte vertical. Creo que si un adolescente, una chica, un señor ve una cola de tres carritos para usar el ascensor, debería llegar solito a la conclusión de que mejor subir por las escaleras mecánicas. Ojo, que no dijo que suban usando una cuerda, un rocódromo o unos ganchos de escalada… digo que usen las escaleras mecánicas. (Subrayo: mecánicas).

De hecho, sobre todo cuando voy sola con la neni (que aún no pasa vergüenza cuando me enzarzo con un desconocido) últimamente me permito a mí misma decir cosas humillantes a las personas incívicas con las que me cruzo, tanto en los ascensores como en otros lugares comunes. Ellos casi nunca se dan por aludidos, pero yo me quedo súper satisfecha de mí misma, de mi ingenio y de mi poca vergüenza. Y no todos los receptores de mis flechas envenenadas son pandillas de adolescentes pijosos idiotizados (que en Coruña son peores que en otros sitios), ni madres gritonas con sus hijos aún más gritones montando el show en Primark. Los más incívicos de todos son, contra todo pronóstico, las familias de esas de renta mensual de 5 dígitos, moreno naranja, jersey atado al cuello y sesión de lavado y marcado semanal que van los sábados a comprar el equipo de esquí y siembran el pánico en la planta correspondiente de El Corte Inglés. Esas familias adineradas son las que dejan a sus hijos correr, empujar, gritar, subir, bajar, hacer y deshacer allá por donde van. No es la primera vez que pregunto a un niño de 5 años algo como “pero niño, no están tus padres por aquí, ¿no?”, o exclamo “jjjjjjjjooooddddeeeeerrrrrrrrr…!” cuando un huracán con coletas hace tambalearse el carrito de Eva… todo ello a un volumen suficiente como para que lo oigan los padres.

Sé que, después de leer este post demasiado largo, más de uno se habrá quedado con una imagen de mí super graciosa… una locomotora humeante que atraviesa el Territorio Vaquero arrollando a los niñejos que se le acercan… pues no. Normalmente soy la dulzura personificada.

Hay un dicho que dice algo como que si educamos a los niños, no será necesario castigar a los adultos. Yo creo que si educamos a los padres, no será necesario que los demás se mueran por castigar a los hijos…

Y todo esto, por meterme en un centro comercial. Maldito aborregamiento del ser humano…

18 Comentarios

  1. Kym

    Bueno, es la primera vez que paso por aquí y has conseguido engancharme!!!

    Yo soy coruñesa exiliada, y no he podido reprimir una sonrisita al escuchar lo de los “adolescentes piojosos idiotizados”, jajajaja, curiosa alta sociedad puebleril, con perdón, la de Coruña. Ciudad bella donde las haya, también he de decir, y de las que se echan de menos por lo menos toda una vida.

    Y ya entrando en el comentario propiamente dicho, que me voy por las ramas: puffffff, qué decir!!! genial descripción de las salas de lactancia!!! Yo sólo añadiría que muchas veces las salas de lactancia son simplemente un cuartucho con cambiador cutre, sin más…buscas y buscas el famoso silloncito y no aparece. Eso me ha pasado al menos 3 ó 4 veces! Mis hijos ya no lactan, pero es ahora cuando al fin me encuentro salas de lactancia como Dios manda…así que espérate un tiempo, porque cuando las dejes de necesitar, pero ya las veas (sí, antes de esto de los hijos, ni se ven), será cuando aparezcan las salas 5 estrellas ante tus ojos, jajaja.

    Saludos!

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    • bdiazrei

      Bienvenida! 🙂 Jaja, pues es verdad! Porque yo, hasta el momento, unas veces es una silla insultante, otras un pedazo sofá que ya lo quisiera yo para dar de mamar en mi casa… pero siempre me encontré sitio para sentarme en las salas de lactancia. Me acordaré de ti cuando vea dentro de unos meses, cuando ya no me hagan falta, cómo las salas de lactancia evolucionan 😛
      Lo que creo que no verán mis ojos serán salas de lactancia “municipales”. Me refiero: lugares higiénicos y tranquilos donde puedas dar de mamar con calma si al bebé le entra el hambre por la calle.
      Por soñar… 😛

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  2. Marta

    Te leí esta mañana y no podía dar crédito, bueno, sí, doy crédito a eso y a más.
    En una primera parte, decir que las salas de lactancia escasean. Las únicas que he visto bien, que son cómodas, aunque unipersonales son las de Ikea. Incluso tienen baños para niños, que mi hija de 3 años, le encanta ir allí a hacer pipí y a lavarse las manos, ya que está todo de su altura.
    Digo unipersonales, porque… Cuando mi hija pequeña era recién nacida, y tuvimos que pasar por Ikea, la sala estaba ocupada por una madre, que se había cogido tooooooodo el espacio, mientras que el padre estaba en el borde de lo que sería la puerta, sin dejar pasar. Y ya llevaba las hormonas suficientemente revolucionadas como para decirles que me hicieran un hueco. Debo decirte que no recuerdo que me enfadara, pero conociéndome, estoy segura que algo le dije al padre de que el espacio no era sólo para él, y que había otras madres necesitadas, que hay más sitio…

    Yo sé que no soy la única madre, pero en ese momento, sólo pedía un sitio para poder amamantar a mi pequeñaja.

    Otras salas de lactancia, me sorprendió, y mucho una que pusieron en un centro comercial, en la tercera planta. Era un cuartucho al lado de los servicios, -si no los limpiaban a menudo, llegaba el olorcillo- con un sillón, un microondas, y un cambiador con grifo.
    Si entrabas con carro, olvídate de entrar tú. Si dejabas el carro, tenías el problema de que te lo podían robar -jejeje-. Para lavarle el culete a la enana, había que hacer malabarismos. Y servilletas de papel, no había ni una.
    Pero era un cuartito de lactancia, al fin y al cabo.

    Y sobre el civismo… Te sorprendería ver la cantidad de gente a la que le falta educación, y las faltas de respeto de ambas partes, porque sí, aunque lances una indirecta a alguien, también es una falta de respeto, aunque provocada por el susodicho, no por nosotras. 😉 Y esto lo digo en general, en tercera persona

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    • bdiazrei

      Jeje, yo creo que debería haber salas de lactancia “divididas”. Quiero decir, a muchas madres no les gusta que entren desconocidos mientras está dando de mamar. A mí al principio me molestaba mucho que hubiera gente alrededor cuando daba teta, y por lo tanto a Eva le era más difícil concentrarse. Creo que debería haber “cubículos” para dar teta mientras otras madres pueden usar cambiadores y demás. Pero bueno… eso es un sueño.
      Y tienes razón en lo de las faltas de respeto… que conste que a mí hay que llegarme mucho al mismísimo (con perdón) para que suelte algo a alguien, y siempre que lo hago me mueve un “algo”… será el deber que tengo como ciudadana de intentar que aquel que es un maleducado se enderece y vaya por el camino correcto… pero como decía un tío mío, no tengo porqué dar lecciones gratis de educación a nadie 😛

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