Frases célebres

37

Nunca me gustó decir las frases que dice todo el mundo. Cuando trabajaba (años ha…) tampoco me gustaba poner el típico titular, ni el típico pie de foto, ni hacer siempre los mismos comentarios sobre un acto… aunque al final, a veces, terminaba haciéndolo. Estas últimas semanas he escuchado tropecientasmil frases, siempre las mismas, siempre dichas con buena intención, y siempre inútiles. Aquí va una recopilación:

“Aprovecha para dormir ahora, que luego no podrás”. Esta es de mis favoritas de antes de parir. Me hacía gracia escucharla y ahora me hace gracia recordarla, porque aunque es cierto que ahora duermo poco, las últimas semanas de embarazo dormía mucho peor. Tenía pesadillas, dolores en todo el cuerpo, era imposible coger la postura y me levantaba al baño cada dos horas. Ahora, simplemente duermo menos horas (sí, horas… Eva es una santa :P), pero las duermo al 100%.

– “Cuando estés pariendo verás como pides la epidural”. Pues no digo yo que no la hubiera pedido igual si fuera un parto natural cortito y agradable… personalmente creo que hubiera dudado. Las contracciones, a pesar de ser provocadas, fueron espantosas pero soportables. La epidural me trajo unos momentos de relax, después de 10 horas de contracciones que no sirvieron casi para nada, y antes de que me hicieran la cesárea… así que, teniendo en cuenta cómo fue mi parto, la epidural es mi dios. Eso sí: en la vida, jamás, me atreveré a decirle a ninguna premamá nada sobre lo que “pedirá o no pedirá”, porque cada parto, y cada embarazada, es un planeta diferente (nunca mejor dicho).

– “En la antigüedad, ¿cómo crees que daban de comer a los bebés? Si ellas podían, tú también”. Me cago en la antigüedad. En la antigüedad, y en la actualidad también, en países que se consideran menos desarrollados (…), las señoras parían en cavernas, o en la cuadra, o en la cama de su casa, rodeadas como mucho de un curandero, una familiar o una vecina desinteresada… En la antigüedad, los partos eran/son más peligrosos porque no había/hay avances en medicina, porque no había/hay higiene, porque el parto que se complicaba acababa probablemente en la muerte de uno o dos individuos. Pero eso sí, en la antigüedad y en esos países los partos eran y son muchísimo más naturales. Ahora tenemos más garantías, más seguridad, pero el precio que tenemos que pagar es parir lejos de casa, con varios desconocidos asomados a tu entrepierna, y en un hospital: un lugar que, por muchas vidas que salve, da mal rollo. Y eso, queramos o no, va en contra de la lactancia. Si además, sumamos que los días posteriores no estás tampoco en el salón de tu casa sentada dándole el pecho a tu bebé, la lactancia se convierte en un reto. Da igual que paras en O Salnés, en Burela, en el Materno (tan afamado…) de Coruña o en la clínica donde van los reyes: la lactancia, hoy en día, es un reto. Así lo creo. Eso sí, yo tengo la satisfacción de que es un reto que estoy superando 🙂

– “Si te duele, es que no engancha bien”. Esta frase es de las que más me gustan de todas las que se refieren a la lactancia materna. Al principio, aquello no era dolor, era peor que eso. Prefería las contracciones del parto a ese dolor. Y ahora, vencidas las dificultades y curadas las grietas, puedo afirmar categóricamente que amamantar bien, a mí, aún me duele. Es soportable y llevadero, más me dolió algún piercing que me hice, pero duele. La niña engancha bien, abre la boca a más no poder, le veo los labios dobladitos para arriba y coge mucho trozo de teta. Pero chupa hiperfuerte. A veces, se da cuenta de que succionando con menos fuerza también consigue sacar leche, y entonces relaja un poco y me hace esa toma más agradable… pero si no, va a matar. Entiendo que la teoría dice que no debería dolerme, que amamantar no duele, que la niña podría chupar más flojito y sacar el mismo beneficio… vale. Yo lo entiendo. Que alguien se lo explique a mi hija de casi 1 mes.

– “A mí me dieron biberón y mira qué bien salí”, o su variante “yo le di biberón y se crio perfectamente”. Hombre, se supone que si la leche de fórmula se inventó para alimentar a los críos que no tomaban teta, la leche de fórmula hará precisamente eso: alimentar a los críos que no toman teta. Cada vez que oigo esa frase, mi oído traduce y lo que escucha es: “a mí no me dieron lo mejor que podían darme, y aun así salí bien”. Y es que no faltaba más que que inventaran una fórmula de leche que hiciera a los bebés morir de inanición.

– “Si le das teta menos de 3,4,5,6,7,8,9… meses, es como si no le dieras”. Los cojones (con perdón). Como si le doy un mes. La satisfacción personal que me aporta a mí ver que mi hija come de mí y está gordita y feliz, los momentos a las 5 de la mañana en los que ella come y yo la miro, y no hace falta hervir biberones, ni comprobar temperaturas, ni abrir botes de polvos, ni nada más que ella y yo, no me los quita nadie.

– “Si la coges siempre que llora, va a coger el vicio”. Sí. Y si la dejo llorar como una loca cada vez que tiene dolor de barriga o se aburre, acabaré sorda o loca perdida.

Sé que me olvido alguna joya, pero si la recuerdo más tarde ya actualizaré la entrada. En definitiva, que qué fácil es teorizar sobre la crianza de hijos que no son el tuyo. Qué fácil es hablar de lo normal que es dar de mamar cuando no te sangran los pezones, cuando tu bebé chupa bien, cuando te duele pero lo soportas porque tú eres así y puedes, o cuando todo son flores. Qué fácil es pensar que todos los casos son iguales o que una norma vale para englobar al total de mamás e hijos que existen… pues yo creo que no, señores. Yo creo que cada uno puede, como mucho, poner su experiencia al servicio de los demás para ayudar (aun teniendo en cuenta que la experiencia ajena, cando estamos en problemas, no es la que más nos interesa), o callarse y limitarse a asentir y a reconocer humildemente que cada uno, en cuanto a crianza y educación y dentro de unos límites, hace lo que le sale del higo. Qué bien nos iría con menos radicalismos y menos “pues yo”, “pues mi hijo”, “pues a mí” y un poco más de empatía. “Nosotras parimos, nosotras decidimos”.

¡Y me callo! que la abuela está de guardia, pero no es plan de abusar. Saludos a todos y un consejo: vivid y dejad vivir, O, como diría Paul McCartney (que estuvo ayer de cumple) “Live and let die” 😉

37 Comentarios

  1. Gallaecia

    Yo aun no soy mami, pero te sorprendería cuanto se oyen este tipo de frases y otras muchas en el sector de la educación (sobre todo guarderias).

    Así es la vida.

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